Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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