i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
