would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
