Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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