at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it