Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.