I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
