I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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