in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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