so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
