So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The air was thick with penises
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
