I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
