I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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