There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
