oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There's always time for handjobs
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
