i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
