so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
