To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
