____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
