im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
