I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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