Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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