Jerry, you need to find god
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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