grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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