just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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