her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
