I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
