How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
