You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize