i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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