are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
