I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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