While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
