Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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