there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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