Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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