Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
