I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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