my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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