If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
