We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
