Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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