I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
