i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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