11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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