Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
