Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
