They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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