I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
