You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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