Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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