she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
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SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.