He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.