No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dating After Heartbreak
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All I want is dick and wine.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.