I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
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I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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