I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
