Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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