dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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