Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
