im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
