Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
