You're my little dorito
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
