I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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